step back to step forward

step back to step forward

October 2021 ~ step back to step forward

Each month starting this month, I'll share behind the scenes learnings, challenges, and a-ha moments. If you are reading this, I hope you find gems from my experience to help you in your path toward purpose and impact. Hugs, celestia

Earlier this week I started the day reviewing my lists. I'm not a list person but in a counterproductive effort to manage stuff I started writing lists on stylish 3 x 3  sheets of paper. It seemed a good idea at the time.

Now, I'm looking at 7 little pieces of paper whose beauty is lost amongst scribbles. There's a separate list for the house, daughter, three for work because my scribbles took more room than the 3x3 notepaper (yes, efficiently turned into inefficiency), one for people I have to text or call back, and one self-care list. 

Friday afternoon I was finishing up work when an email arrived, it was our initial FDA package review. I opened the file and saw lots of little call out boxes in tiny font - I went into panic mode. By Friday night I was still looking at the lists - what was crossed out and what was not - and moving deeper into the 'overwhelm tunnel.'

Every night I've started a practice to ask myself, "how do I feel right now" and at that moment the answer was dread. This is not the vibe I want to emit in the world. So, I decided to take a step back. 

On Saturday I unplugged and went on a solo no-phone, no-music bike ride up Sunshine Canyon, past countless conifer trees and mountain canyon views to the little mining town of Gold Hill. The escape detached my mind from obsessing about lists and released the dread. I felt space as my mind let go and became quiet while I pedaled up the mountain. Slowly I began to reconnect with me. 

The next question I've learned to ask when things get off-balance is "what do I need right now." When I asked that question while spinning on my bike, the answer that came back was step back from unnecessary commitments and amp up my self-care (note, I've never had a-ha moments in front of the computer, get outside, move and I promise the answers will come).

I returned from the bike ride and threw away the 6 pieces of paper. Now there's one daily list on a 3x3 note paper - nothing more. All is doable and I have space each day to have space to fill up my joy tank. I'm choosing daily joy over the 'have to' list. 

If we cannot respect ourselves with self-care to reflect, recharge and renew then we cannot be good for ourselves, follow the right path to reach our unique purpose nor be beacons of light for the people around us. 

How can you create space this month to step back, so you can decide how to step forward living the way you want to live. 

Journal Activity:

Each month I'll share journal prompts that support the theme.

In a quiet place, sit down and close your eyes. Feel your body and hear your breath. Let yourself quiet for at least 5 minutes before you start journalling. When you are ready write down 'step back to step forward' and write your answers to these:

how do I feel right now

what do I need right now

Thank you for reading and please share in comments below.

xxoo, Celestia








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